Monday 25 August 2008

whahala of the EX

ok.
so I'm not the usual blogger since i only blog when i feel like it

my friend is getting married today. i really wish i could be there sha.
Congrats Dee!

all this talk of marriage reminds me of my ex boyfriend RYE.
let me give u some gist...
Rye still professes undying love o! and he is suddenly coming on strong.
he said he will go to any length to get me back!!!
na wa o!!!
fear catch me small, make i no lie... cos i know how he can be.
i guess what i dread the most is him directly or indirectly contacting BS and finding a means to cause a rift between us, in a bid to turn brown sugar's (BS) heart away from me. If that happens, i would be totally broken. I don't want no surprises from Rye. obviously one can never be too careful, so i have decided to put them both in the hands of God. I have laid my relationship with BS at the altar of God.

funny enough, just a couple of days ago, someone told me he had a dream I got heart broken by BS cos he left me. i kinda take dreams seriously cos i see dreams as a means of communication between God n man. So we can pray to avert unwanted events or pray and claim the ones that we desire.

I cant help but wonder, why does RYE suddenly realize he cant live without me. he claims his life has no meaning anymore, he misses me terribly, he now realizes how much he values me..... and all da kin tin

. . . yet he was a cheating boyfriend, and good at it too cos i didn't find out about his cheating self until the other girl (or was I the other girl) contacted me. I was foolish to think he couldn't cheat on me because i 'knew' my man. anyway, that is story for another day.

I didn't really love him, yet i couldn't bring my self to break up with him for no reason. So why did i date him?
well.. at the time, I didn't believe in love and I thought it was overrated and exaggerated for the movies.

I dated him because he is good company and a nice and focused person. I use to think that love grows after being with someone for a long time. but I guess with Rye, time was not producing love (over 3 years).

I couldn't bring myself to let him touch me all through the time we were together. we dated for a while but never even shared a kiss. I never told him the words 'I love you'. I remember we use to have fights about this but he was very patient with me. In all this, I must say that he is not all bad and has a lot of good qualities too but...there was a 'but' i just could not imagine living with. I knew I wouldn't spend the rest of my life with someone i don't trust. so his begging, crying, and promises of marriage didn't move me one bit.

Anyway, I have found the perfect Love now n the perfect person to share that love with in BS.

I decided to tell BS about RYE and his advances because knowledge is power.

I refuse to let my past interfere with my future or my present life.
The past belongs in the past and i intend to keep it that way.

love

1 comment:

O'Dee said...

I like the name brownsugar.

I also like that you refuse to let the ppast interfere with your future. I'm sure BS must have helped you through this.